Sunday, March 11, 2012

FOTD and a look inside myself

Hello beautiful beautiful people!

Before I get to the FOTD, I'd like to thank those of you who took the time to comment on my last post, especially regarding my lack of inspiration.  I've decided that I have taken a long enough break from makeup, and that if I were to officially decide on letting go of makeup for a while, I don't know when I'll be able to pick it up again.  I want to get better so badly, and the only way to do that is to keep practicing.  More on that later.

As for the look, I literally spread out all my Inglot eyeshadows in front of me and looked for inspiration.  As always, I was immediately drawn to blues, greens, and purples.  I settled for a blue and purple look, and it wasn't until a few minutes ago that I realized I have done this color combination before.  Oops.

THIS is why I don't include shots without my glasses anymore.  I
look so weird!

-Laura Mercier hydrating primer
-Aveeno tinted moisturizer in Medium
-Cover FX Setting Powder in Light
-NARS Laguna Bronzer
-Tarte Amazonian Clay Blush in Amused

-Yves Rocher Intense Eye Crayon in Vert Marine
-Inglot eyeshadows in 413P, 426P, 441P, 362M, 388M, DS 462
-Stila Smudgepot in Kitten
-Stila eyeshadows in Kitten and Black Cat
-Lancome eyeshadow in After Dusk
-NYX JEP in Oyster
-UD 24/7 Liners in Perversion and Ransom
-L'oreal Voluminous Mascara

That's all for the look!

So now is when I'm going to be using my beauty blog for something a bit more personal.  I've never formally announced it on my blog, but I'm an aspiring makeup artist.  Makeup was the very first thing that really lit me on fire and has not yet burnt out, and it has been amazing for me to find something I'm truly passionate about. I've gotten a very late start on applying makeup--I didn't start wearing eyeliner and mascara regularly till I was 19!  Despite my late start, I put my education towards my career as a teacher on hold so that I could pursue my dream first.  I was offered a teaching position in Korea a while back.  I had time to do one semester of cosmetology before I was supposed to leave, but I decided I wanted to finish and get my cosmetology license first.

Now during my second semester of my cosmetology program, I find myself frustrated and questioning myself.  I want to become a professional makeup artist so bad!  But the classes are focused around hair and I have learned literally nothing about makeup.  I do so much research online on kits, acquiring clientele, etc but it's never enough.  I'm so impatient to improve my skills at makeup application, and I become so frustrated when it doesn't turn out right.  Recently, I've become even more impatient because my financial situation has taken a dip down, and I want 'real' work NOW, instead of being a full time student and working part time.

I also have a problem with caring too much about what other people think.  I love blogging so very much.  I feel great being able to share how I interpret and put together different colors, and just this ever growing passion in general.  Over two years after I started blogging, I find myself doubting if the content I lay out there has any value or hold interest for very many people out there.  I have a problem with constantly comparing myself to others and it drives me nuts.

I have these sorts of discussions with my boyfriend often.  He's a lot like my therapist and cheerleader, who has a lot more faith in me than I do, and does his best to convince me that everything will turn out the way I want it to.  It's a wonder he isn't tired of hearing me talk about these things over and over again.

In any case, these are some of the thoughts that run through my head quite frequently.  Typing it all out has been sort of a therapy session for me.  I'm doing my very best to punch those thoughts down and have a little more faith in myself.  I think perhaps on each day I don't have work,  I'll kidnap a poor soul and force a makeover on him/her.  We'll see how that goes :)

Stay sane, my lovelies, and whatever goals you have, don't stop until you get there.


  1. Love this bright look on you, super pretty. Writing about things that worry you is definitely a good thing, it's so hard to know what direction to take in life, I'm going thru the same sort of scenario at the moment. I'm happy that we both seem to have such great men beside us to help with this! x

  2. Even if you've done this colour combo before, it's pretty enough to warrant doing again :)

    *hugs* I wish I could offer advice about what to do, but I'm crappy with advice. Sending good thoughts your way though and I hope you can start living your dream soon <3

  3. Another beautiful look! And hang in there! Nothing worth having is ever easy. You just have to keep your eye on the goal and keep working towards it. I posted recently about having difficulties with my thesis, it's so easy to lose motivation and flounder on a big, long-term project like any kind of school program... Sometimes the important thing is to just keep moving forward, even if its not at the pace you envisioned for yourself, and even if you don't always feel excited about it! I have to keep reminding myself that I am making an investment right now for my future self, and that future me will thank current me for all the pain and heartache. So keep on keeping on, and in the meantime, we are very happy to read your wonderful blog :)

  4. I love this beautiful combination of colors ♥

  5. You just hang in there girl. Finish what you're doing and pursue your dreams the minute you get a chance. =-)

  6. I've been there, too. Makeup has always been the one thing that interested me more than anything else. I was pursuing a degree at a university before I left early to actually get licensed in cosmetology. I didn't realize the focus would be so strongly on hair, but I stuck with it because I found that I was still having fun.

    After getting licensed I went to work in a salon right away. After one year I just knew that hair was not my passion the way makeup was. I did a lot of hair for weddings and thankfully got to also do makeup as well. That's when I knew makeup was the one thing I actually cared about in terms of work.

    I used to love the idea of filming tutorials and being a YouTube guru, but I struggled with comparing myself to others and also I didn't like the criticism from viewers--most negative things are said just to be negative, not constructive. I don't know how YouTube gurus put up with people's childishness. I began to focus on my blog more as my outlet for makeup with reviewing and posting photos. I actually find I am happier blogging than I am filming tutorials, so I stuck with it.

    Over time I noticed fellow blogs receiving more accolades, more followers, and in general putting out content that I just personally felt was better than mine. Sometimes it is hard to not be jealous. But I just have to remind myself that I can be challenged to be better through these feelings. I need to be willing to continually grow and sometimes there will be hard bumps along the way. I'm happy that my friends are successful in what they are doing, and I know I can be successful, too.

    In terms of career, you get what you give. You need to really put yourself out there when you are first starting out. Building a quality kit is one of the hardest things... it's easy to get an eyeshadow palette, but to get multiple shades of foundation and powders and concealers can be costly. To get a high quality selection of effective brushes can be costly, too. But it just takes time and patience and if you build it little by little, it will get completed. Create some nice business cards, network with local photographers. Tell them you are a makeup artist and would love to recommend them to your clients if they would recommend you to theirs for future shoots. Create a good portfolio when you get the chance (like doing makeup on your friends) and get good pictures and bring that to a wedding trade show and book some weddings. The more you do makeup, the more practice you get under your belt, the more confident you'll be. And if you really want some experience, maybe work for a cosmetic counter like MAC for a little bit so you can get hands on experience working with a wide array of people, skin types, and tastes. (The discount is nice, too, for building a kit.)

    Anyway, what I am trying to say is that it's hard but it's worth it if it's your passion. It will take some time, but sometimes the best things in life take hard work. If you have the desire, though, you can succeed in it. :-)

  7. I think you did a really brave and admirable thing by choosing to follow your real passion rather than taking the safe option. You never know unless you try! We all have our ups and downs and sometimes feel like throwing in the towel but I bet if you ride it out the frustration will pass. Hang on in there, there are lots of us out there who really value your blog content! x